Just Us! (Holly)

((The title of each of our posts with note which one of us wrote the entry.))

I guess, let's start from the beginning!

Two days into my senior year of high school I found out I was pregnant with Colton. My whole world changed, especially my goals for the future. Everything shifted....but I wouldn't change it for the world!

Tim and I met in June of 2005 in an AOL chat room.  We spent hours chatting online and eventually on the phone.  I would be up all day with my two year old son and going to school and then stay up talking to Tim until the sun came up.  We were instant best friends.  We remained friends and Tim would travel an hour to see me every few months even though I was seeing someone else.

In August of 06 I found out I was pregnant again.  Colton named her Skyler and that was that.  At my 12 week appointment I found out that she had an omphalocele.  Let me explain, before 11 gestation, the fetus's chest is wide open to allow for their organs to grow.  At 11 weeks their chest is supposed to close up, however, Skyler's didn't.  An omphalocele is usually accompanied by chromosomal diseases as well, specifically down syndrome and trisomy 13 or 18.  My AFP test came back negative. 

The plan was that I would deliver Skyler in Iowa City because they have the ability to do the immediate surgery she would need to close her chest.  In November I went to Iowa City for an intensive ultrasound and amniocenteses, as well as some blood draws from both Skyler's dad and me.

The day before Thanksgiving we got the results that the amnio and the blood work came back clear! We were all stoked! A few weeks later I noticed less and less movement and in my heart I knew, but I was so far into denial that I even canceled one of my OB appointments.

A week after I canceled an appointment I went in.  December 22, 2006 my daughter was still born.

In February I moved to Cedar Rapids, partly to get out from under my own rock, and partly to be closer to Tim.  I guess I thought the change in scenery for me as well as Colton would do us some good.  It took a lot of prodding from Tim to keep me there the first few months. I was an emotional wreck.  There were a lot of misty late night phone calls and it took a lot for me to summons the strength to get out of bed some days.

In April, Tim finally got me to put my walls down and we started dating.  Of course, this did not come without stipulations! :) I explained that 1. I wanted to be married with in two years, and 2. I wanted another child with in those two years as well.

Within two weeks he was living with us and within a month he asked me to marry him.  It may seem weird to most people, but Tim asked me to marry him in a cemetery.  Not just any cemetery, he asked me to marry him while we were standing next to Skyler's grave and Colton was playing on the hill next to it.  The cemetery is my favorite place in the entire world.  Though I carry Skyler with me always, in my heart, there is something about sitting in the grass next to her plot looking over the hill, that puts me in different spirits.  I knew, that if he cared enough to propose with both of my children present... I should definitely say yes!

In October of 07 I was diagnosed with PCOS. After years of showing all the symptoms it finally all came together! It was a bittersweet diagnoses. We tried Metformin to no avail.  We were told we could only try Chlomid for three months and that if after three months we were not pregnant that it wasn't going to work.  I've talked to several people since then who have questions this so we'll see what our next doctor has to say. 

We only took chlomid for two months because I don't think my heart could handle getting pregnant in December.  We decided to put it off til later....

In February of 2008 we rescued Tinkerbell from a horrible house in which she was being used as a bait dog.  Tinkerbell is now about 6 years old, she's a pit bull and boxer mix.  Tinkerbell is BY FAR my best friend in the entire world.  She has seen me through laughter, tears and so many ups and downs! This lady saved my life.

In January of 2009 we moved back to Waterloo to start over yet again and we finally married in December of 2009 :)

Now, Colton is in second grade and we have Tink, Cash (almost a year old pit bull/staffy mix) and Bear (a 3year old Olde English Bull Dogge) as well as one foster dog currently, and hopefully more to come.

With Colton being seven it's past time for us to try again.  We will not let PCOS run us over this time! We're ready!

So this is us, in a nutshell.  Hopefully this blog works to release some thoughts and feelings for us along this next journey and family and friends can follow along with us.  We'll post more than just TTC stuff.

Holly